


A Hero in My Eyes

by kbirb



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 13:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1471939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kbirb/pseuds/kbirb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Steve's a national hero, Bucky's having a hard time coping. He had always been Steve's hero, you know? He remembers all the times Steve had been a hero in his eyes, before all of this serum stuff happened. But how to tell him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hero in My Eyes

When Bucky had first joined the army, sleeping was hard. He was used to the constant presence of his best friend. No one in the army laughed like Steve did. No one really needed Bucky. In fact, most men were stronger and better than him. Bucky had never felt so alone; Steve and him had been best friends since they were in Kindergarten and he could barely remember a time without him. Steve had always been the tiny one. They had met when Bucky had saved Steve from bullies on the playground at age 6.

Bucky didn’t want Steve to join the army. If he had encouraged him and Steve had died… No, Bucky couldn’t handle that. Sometimes, Bucky felt so selfish for it, but he just wasn’t sure he could hold on without Steve Rogers. He made Bucky feel like a hero, like he was strong and important- but it was more than that. Steve had a passion that Bucky couldn’t replicate. Steve was Bucky’s hero sometimes, but he never knew how to express it well enough. The first (and last) time Bucky had his heart broken, back in their eighth year of school, Steve set up a tent in his little living room and they made s’more together using the old gas stove. It was also the first time Bucky called Steve a hero. The second time was when… Well, actually Bucky couldn’t recall another time he had said it, but there were times when he had meant to. There were “thank you”s laced with it, smiles of appreciation that symbolized it. Without Steve, Bucky would have no one to call him a hero, and also no hero to look up to. Bucky knew it was selfish, but he did love his best friend with all he had.

So when Steve found him, after weeks of mental and physical torture, calling him a “hero” felt so wrong. So Bucky just quipped something about Steve’s new size and wondered when, why, how?

It was because telling Steve he was a hero just seemed too little now. Everyone said it to him, day in and day out. He was “Captain America” now; the nation’s hero. Honestly, Bucky didn’t know how to handle the change in their lives. He was never going to be a hero to Steve anymore- if anything, Steve would take care of Bucky now. It was like a chunk of Bucky was gone, but he didn’t want Steve to know. It was just that he had been the bigger one for so long and he had been the one to take care of Steve. So when his best friend’s eyes were on him, he would grin and turn on the “James Barnes charm,” as Steve used to call it. But once he would look away, Bucky’s smile would melt and his face would reflect the true emotions.

Bucky wished he had told Steve he was a hero when it had counted, because now the world was as flippant as a smile. Steve believed he needed to join the army to be heroic, but it was the little things about Steve that had made him a hero. Bucky found himself remembering those times often. He’d look at Steve going into battle and just see the little guy from Brooklyn up against the bullies in the alley. A woman would start to fawn over Steve, but Bucky would just be drawn into the memory of Steve’s first successful date and how a huge grin had split his face.

The things that made Steve a hero didn’t include big muscles and a star spangled costume. Steve was a hero because he was intelligent. He used to tutor Bucky in math and he could always use logic to calm Bucky down. But then it was also the brave stupidity, how he’d never back down from a fight even when there was no chance he could ever win. Steve always wanted to do right by people and he hated bullies. There was the compassion too, that was heroic. Steve cared about everyone. He cared about the homeless in the city, always giving them spare change when he could afford it. He’d defend the girls in the bars and, in their childhood, he was there for every event in Bucky’s life (and Bucky for him).

Bucky always tried to be as good as Steve. Because, even though he was a hero in Steve’s eyes, he never really felt like one. Steve’s view of a hero was fighting for what was right and he saw Bucky as someone who could do it. When Bucky entered the army, he felt like a hero, until he got there and didn’t have Steve. 

It was only now that Steve felt like a hero… But how to tell him he always had been?

**Author's Note:**

> And this one is my first writing from post-brain washed Bucky. Actually just writing Bucky. And it's my second Marvel one, really.  
> This can be bros or boyfriends, up to the reader! ♥


End file.
